98% sure danny devito almost just hit me with a car 

actionables:

romance is alive

it-s-a-metaphor-for-destiel:

perchu:

themininepeta:

dont let the guy who hates moreos see this

i love big cock

well that was unexpected 

morefunthanb4:

It’s weird when you read a headline like that and your first thought is like holy shit, even on death row, what kind of sick fuck would make that request but then you see the guys face and go oh right, yeah, that dude. sure.

pettycrocker:
Straight white boy problem #690

versacesquad:

Tfw she say “brb shower” and you have to control the urge to say “can I join lol”

nofaddano:

guy: psstt! look at me while you suck. i wanna see those eyes
girl: *looks up*
guy: image

naotakunn:

i cant believe this. i cant fucking believe this. i meant to send this to my boyfriend but instead i sent it to my boss right after i told her i was quitting all i wanted to do was make an inappropriate cookie joke but no i got mixed up texting two people at once and literally sent a picture of a chocolate chip cookie captioned “ooh she thique” to the fifty year old suburban mother of two of whom i have nothing but a strictly professional relationship with. after knowing me for almost a year and a half as a hard working and respectable employee this is the last thing i will ever say to her i can never go back to that shop again all because of this god damn cookie blunder What have i Done

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